Driven….goal oriented
Growing up I had big plans for my life. I was going to live internationally and travel the world. I had grown up in church listening to missionaries speak almost every Sunday night. Sitting in the 2nd row (mandated by my dad) I listened to their stories with rapt attention. As I got older, I begged my parents to let me go on mission trips abroad, but they told me I had to wait till I was 16. The summer before my senior year of high school I finally got my chance. I said goodbye to my family and spent a summer in Kenya, Africa. (side note: this was before cell phones and the only communication I had with my parents was through the mail. Like legit, the mail. I have no idea how they let me go. I would have an anxiety attack if my kids did this.) No matter, I was driven. I was going after my dreams.
As you can imagine, the trip changed my life. I lived with missionaries somewhere near Lake Baringo in Kenya’s outback, slept in a tent, bathed in a 5 gallon bucket, and fully embraced my experience. The trip solidified my dreams to work internationally, and I went to college to pursue a career that would help me make it happen.
Six months after starting freshman year I met and fell in love with Chris. We were married 9 months later. That’s right: I was only 20 years old.
The Closet
For several years after our marriage I lived with the belief that my husband wanted the same things; he just didn’t realize it yet. I was wrong of course, but I believed this so much that I even started my graduate work in International Teaching thinking that once I was done we would move abroad.
Then our first son was born. I was 29.
At this point, there was a huge disconnect between my husband and I, but I never recognized it. I had no idea that what he wanted was different. I didn’t notice that he was on his own journey. He didn’t want to travel. He wanted consistency. He wanted roots. He wanted to raise a family and be an amazing dad. At some point, and I don’t know when, he told me he didn’t share my dreams. He didn’t want to live outside of the States and he made his ultimatum clear. By this time we had our second son. I was 30 years old.
In response, I switched my graduate work to Multilingual Multicultural education and finished with a Master’s in Curriculum and Instruction. I put my dreams in a closet, and swiftly shut the door.
Wake Up Call
I’ve always prided myself in being content in any situation and I was. My dreams were locked away though once in a while I would crack open the door and wonder what life would be like. I would experience resentment, loss, and a lingering thread of hope. Then I would shut the door and proceed with life. I loved being a mom and wife and was content as a classroom teacher and raising the boys.
Eventually, all my unresolved emotions came to the surface. I started acting out in small ways and eventually I made decisions that would almost ruin my marriage. My resentment, anger, unfulfilled dreams, and closeted emotions forged a powerful wake up call for me.
New Trajectory
Over the next few years I had to get really honest with myself. Like legit...deep soul searching and spiritual awakening kind of stuff. I spent hours reading, getting quiet, and even hired a therapist to help me overcome my feelings of loss and guilt. Eventually I came out the other side a different woman. I was resolved in my new goals, committed to my husband and our family, and most importantly I didn’t play the victim anymore. I was a woman fully in control of my life’s decisions.
It was a new beginning for me.
In 2017 I enrolled in Raleigh Coaching Academy and received my training to be an Authentic Life and Leadership Coach. Three months after completing my training I opened Woods Life Coaching with the intention of helping women experience a transformation & overcome the same midlife misery I had lived.
My Dream
Just over a year ago I had a HUGE epiphany. So big that it allowed me to FINALLY let go of my dream to live internationally and see it for what it was. I was reading the Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo and the December 1st devotion titled “Candles and Cocoons.” It said, “Dreams are like candles to help us through the dark. Once used, they have to melt.”
“The truth is that what we want or dream of doesn’t last. It tends to serve its purpose in our development and then fade away, losing its relevance. And we can do enormous damage to ourselves by insisting on carrying that which has died.”
This small devotional helped me realize my dream was given to me for a purpose. It was meant for me to learn and grow from. It taught me that my dream had died and it was perfectly ok because it had served a purpose. I had held on to this dream for over 30 years. Holding on to it for too long did enormous damage. Now that I am on the other side and recognize the dream for what it was, it gives me enormous freedom. It frees up all my energy to start designing the life I really want.
Midlife Design
This is how I came to be a transformational life coach for women in their 40’s and beyond. I help you let go of your old dreams, and all the resentment, shame, and grief that comes with them, so you have the space to create new dreams for yourself. Dreams that actually fit you today, not the you from yesterday.
If you feel inspired or intrigued I would love to hear from you. To learn more about how I can help you design the life you want, here are a few options.
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Schedule a Discovery Call and we can talk about what you’re looking for and how I can support you on your journey.