How to Get Your Kids to Talk to You
Photo by Paige Cody on Unsplash
Did you know that kids were six times more likely to overcome challenges and complete school work if they had a parent or caring adult who listened to them, according to a study published in the journal Pediatrics.
Covid-19 has disrupted and rearranged our lives. Like us, our kids are feeling the effects socially & emotionally. So, how can we create an environment where our kids feel safe and want to talk with us? How can we master the art of listening to ensure our kids feel supported and loved?
Creating the Environment
Spend time together. Your child will be more likely to come to you with sensitive issues if you nurture a close connection. Block out time each day for family meals and sharing fun activities. Do household chores together and read stories before bedtime.
Tune out distractions. Give your child your full attention when they need to talk. Put away your phone and stop thinking about other distractions.Work on timing. Successful conversations sometimes depend on the setting. Let your child know that you’ll be available later if they need time to compose themselves or think a situation through.
Think positive. Let your child know that you notice the things they do well. Talk more about the great things you see them doing and less about grades and undone chores.
7 Tips for Becoming a Better Listener
Focus on interaction. Dialogue moves in two directions. Ensure that you listen and acknowledge their feelings as valid.
Let go of judgements. Show your child that you love and accept them just as they are. You can validate their experiences even when you disagree with their choices.
Drop your agenda. Encourage your child to develop their own perspective and solve their own dilemmas. Resist the urge to do the work for them.
Address underlying issues. There’s often more to a conversation than what appears on the surface. If you think your child is overreacting or developing unhealthy patterns, you may need to dig deeper or consider family counseling.
Watch your body language. A great deal of communications is non-verbal. Use your facial expressions and gestures to show your child that you’re interested and supportive. Make eye contact and keep your body relaxed and open.
Discuss feelings. Even adults often struggle to identify and share their feelings. The more you work on your own emotional intelligence, the more you can be a role model for understanding and expressing feelings.
Keep practicing. You may find that active listening seems unnatural or complicated at first. However, your abilities will grow over time, and your family life will be enriched just by making the effort.
Help your child develop healthy self-esteem and communication skills by listening to what they have to say. The next few months are going to be tough, but if we create the right environment and practice listening then we can develop a better relationship with our kids.
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