The Voice of Doubt

How do we overcome our constant inner critic? Author Dan Harris lovingly refers to the inner critic as “the asshole in our head.” I happen to agree with him. This voice is our constant companion. Biologically it’s there to protect us, but often if feels out of control and put us in a cycle of doubt, fear, and worry. You know what I am talking about. It’s the voice that says things like:

• “You’ll never reach that goal” 

• “You aren’t’ smart enough to run a company.” 

• “Look at the mistakes you’ve made, you can’t find love.” 

• “Great dream, but you’ll never have the money to make that happen.” 

These thoughts are constant and the weight of them holds us down. They keep us from achieving and believing what we want in life.  So, how do we stop the voice? How do we break the pattern of negative thoughts? 

It’s possible

Taming the inner critic is not an easy task, but it can be done. We all have the power and strength to do it. Here are two things I’ve learned about the inner critic and a few practical steps to tame it. 

1. Our thoughts create our reality.  Since we are pretty good at creating negative thoughts we can get damn good at creating positive thoughts.

2. If you want to change your reality you have to change your beliefs. If I asked you to honestly fill in the statement  “I am ___” what would you write?

   If your thoughts are filled with statements like: “I am bad at relationships. “I am too old to lose weight.” “I am too young to be successful.” “I am a bad luck magnet.'‘ These thoughts are creating your reality.  This is where the shift has to happen.

   My clients will often ask me “Ok, but how do I do this? How do I change what I believe about myself?” My response is, “What do you want to believe about yourself?” If you’re struggling with your inner critic I’ll ask the same of you. “What do you want to believe about yourself?”  

3. In my last blog “A Key to Manifesting Your Dreams” I referenced writing intention statements. Writing intentions shifts the energy to that of a creator and ensures that what you want is rooted in positive thoughts.

   I love how Jen Sincero explains it in her book “ You are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Live an Awesome Life.” She says that this type of work (changing your beliefs) is about “radically changing your reality.” Here’s my favorite part of what she says, and my own constant reminder. 

How - Where Do I Start?

Great question and I am glad you asked. Here are a few practical steps my clients have used to begin the work of changing their thoughts and beliefs. 

1. Get quiet. Take time every day to find a place to get quiet. Clear your mind of the chatter and begin to practice asking the universe for what you want. 

2. Begin to write and practice daily affirmations. In “A Key to Manifesting Your Dreams” I explain how to write affirmations and include a resource to do so. 

3. Find like minded people who will encourage you. This could be a Life Coach, a mentor, a friend, but someone you trust that can hold you accountable to your commitment to changing your beliefs.

4. Read or listen. Feed your soul with things that awaken your awareness and encourage you. Find my list of my favorites below.

5. Love yourself. We are all on this journey together. We all struggle with our inner critic. Have self compassion, when you have a bad day acknowledge it, but forgive yourself because you’re human and embrace the belief that tomorrow or even the next moment is a chance to start again.